(The tape recorder clicks on. I’m wearing a headset for no reason whatsoever, sat in front of three screens, one leg bouncing under the desk. Somewhere, a stock helicopter shot of a training ground is playing in my head. Here. We. Go.)
Act I: Here We Go
The window has crashed open and the club has gone straight for the jugular: five new arrivals confirmed in one hit, £64.1 million spent before most of Europe has finished its pre-season photocall. Michael Kayode’s move is finally official — the one I chased on loan, got told to get lost, and eventually landed permanently for a fee that could hit £77 million, arriving as advertised. Mattia Zaccagni walks in on a free, 33 years old and “delighted to sign a player of his calibre,” according to a fanbase apparently unbothered by the number on his birth certificate. Kjell Scherpen arrives as a free-transfer goalkeeper insurance policy, alongside two teenage projects in centre-back Manu Ramírez and attacking midfielder Gautier Groult-Aubert. Three of the five have been booked in for a 42-week Italian course, which feels like the most honest admission yet that this squad is turning into a proper United Nations of a dressing room.
Sources close to the club — by which I mean me, staring at the finances — describe it as a busy start to the window, with plenty more still expected to move before medicals season is properly underway.
Act II: The Carboni Dilemma
Valentín Carboni is awaiting a work permit on a £25 million move, and I genuinely haven’t decided whether I want it to go through. That’s above his valuation, he’s 23, and by most sensible logic you take the money and thank him for his service in a crowded position. But he’s also a talented kid who scored eight and set up five last season while barely getting a run of starts, and every time I go to click accept I find myself hesitating. Deal edges closer. Manager still isn’t sure. Watch this space.
Act III: The Ranieri Situation Blows Up in My Face
Here’s the one that actually stings. I said back in the spring I wasn’t letting Luca Ranieri leave — homegrown, useful, end of discussion. Turns out keeping an unhappy player around doesn’t just cost you his own mood, it costs you everyone else’s. Ranieri’s complaints have been stinking up the dressing room to the point that Samu Omorodion — genuinely one of the best strikers in Italy when his knees allow it — has started listening to what Tottenham are offering, and the reporting doesn’t pull punches: he “has concerns about the dressing room atmosphere at Fiorentina” and is eyeing a fresh start, in a deal that could run to £75 million. I am not losing a £75 million striker to protect a squad player’s ego. A £15 million bid has come in for Ranieri, and much as it pains me to admit it after digging my heels in a few weeks ago, he’s going to have to go. Sometimes the dressing room makes the decision for you.
Act IV: Iain, Predictably, Wants a Piece of My Top Scorer Too
As if the summer needed another twist of the knife: Lazio have bid £30 million for Lorenzo Lucca — well above his £23 million valuation, and about as on-brand as it gets. Lucca left over a promise he says I broke about challenging for Serie A. Now he might do exactly that, for the club that’s been breathing down my neck all year. If this one goes through I fully expect to be watching him score against us at some point next season, and I fully expect Iain to make sure I know about it.
Act V: Where We Actually Stand
Amid all the chaos, some genuinely good news landed with the new fixture list: Fiorentina have climbed 14 places in the European club coefficient rankings to 10th in the whole of Europe — above Barcelona, Juventus, Atlético Madrid, Arsenal and Milan, behind only the continent’s true royalty. It’s the kind of number that would have sounded absurd twelve months ago. Harvey Elliott was also named runner-up for Serie A’s Signing of the Season across the entire league, a free transfer standing shoulder to shoulder with a £40 million Inter signing — still the best bit of business I’ve done at this club, whatever the shortlist says. And we already know who’s waiting in the semi-final of the Supercoppa come December: Inter, in Dubai, because apparently even the trophies come with air miles now.
Next time: whatever’s left standing once this window actually closes.