The Purple Phoenix
After a devastating end to Season 2, we picked ourselves up from the canvas and embarked upon a summer of vengeance, and ambition.
Act III: The Exiles and The £69m Vengeance
Following his 85th-minute moment of madness, Marc Guéhi never played another minute for Fiorentina. I banished him to the shadow realm. When the Saudi window opened, I demanded £69 million. They paid it. Profit is the best revenge.
He wasn’t the only one clearing his locker. Giovanni Simeone’s exit was finalized (£12m, all profit), and Moise Kean and Lucas Beltrán finally made permanent exits to balance the books. Robin Gosens also left, alongside our beloved vibes officer Luca Lezzerini, who selfishly decided he actually wanted to “play football” for a living.
Act IV: Casualties of the Proxy War
While we were making bank, the off-pitch war with Iain reached toxic new levels. I moved to pick up Alexis Saelemaekers on a free transfer, but Iain swooped in and persuaded him to join Lazio instead. An absolute dagger. Iain then outbid me to steal wonderkid Konstantinos Karetsas for Rome, apparently making it his life’s mission to ruin my scouting network. Or maybe he just also has good taste in transfers.
Act V: Forging the Champions League Machine
With Guéhi’s blood money burning a hole in my pocket, it was time to build a Champions League squad.
The Defense: Roger Ibañez (Free) and Piero Hincapié (£31m from Leverkusen) arrived to form a new, aggressive wall. Noah Atubolu came in to directly challenge for the #1 jersey.
The Engine Room: Manu Koné (£47m from Roma) was the marquee signing, a physically dominant destroyer. Weston McKennie was brought in to be retrained for the flanks, and Harvey Elliott finally arrived on a free.
The Physical Monster: Samu Omorodion (£47.5m). 23 years old. An absolute unit brought in to terrorise Italy.
