Act VIII: The Flat-Track Bullies
As winter approached, we developed a slightly concerning habit of turning into draw specialists against the big boys.
We scraped a tense 1-1 draw against Iain’s Lazio in November. A 0-0 stalemate away at Juventus followed. We blanked again in a 0-0 draw against Partizan in Europe, and repeated the 0-0 scoreline away at Iain’s old club, Atalanta. We broke the drought by unleashing all our pent-up aggression on Udinese in a 6-0 thrashing, only to grind out a 1-1 draw against Napoli to close out the calendar year (with wonderkid defender Pietro Comuzzo inexplicably scoring our only goal).
While the £30m marquee signings were finding their feet, the true hero of the winter schedule emerged: Álvaro Fidalgo. Brought in as a rotation playmaker, the man morphed into a goal-scoring colossus from central midfield. By early January, he sat on an outrageous 8 goals and 1 assist in just 9 starts, boasting a squad-leading average rating of 7.46.
Overall, results so far have been largely pleasing. In Serie A we have won all the games we are supposed to win, and even added a narrow victory over Inter. All other games vs those close to us in the table were losses or draws however. Away fixtures vs Milan, Iain’s Lazio, and Juventus are all out of the way.
We are also yet to concede in the Europa League, sitting top of the tree after 6 games. We also have 7 clean sheets in the league, and took great pleasure in eviscerating Genoa 7-0, largely courtesy of Esposito scoring a hat trick within 18 minutes.
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League standings put us in 5th, only 1 point behind Iain in 4th, and 2 points behind Torino in 2nd. Considering our not-great record vs the top teams, and our unofficial aim for a top 4 finish, this is fine. Roma are looking very tough for anyone to catch.
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Napoli sacked their manager after a poor start, and as I blearily checked my emails one morning, a job offer swam into view:
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Flattering, but no thanks.
With the fun and games of the January transfer window on the horizon, let’s take a look at how our recent business has turned out.
Transfers breakdown:
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Matic: largely (ha) a spectator, with only a few minutes against minnows in the Europa League to his name. Mandragora (or as Hermione Granger would tell us: Mandrake), Richardson and Janelt are all performing well to keep him out of a job.
Carboni: agreed playing time is Star Player so he’s been getting plenty of minutes to keep him happy, he’s done quite well despite the low G/A and is progressing nicely.
Simeone: a reasonable deputy for Esposito, but needs to score more. Still, he was free, only earns 43k, and is happy enough to be second choice.
Morgan: not ready for the first team, he’s out on loan.
Klemens: does well when rarely called-upon, hot prospect.
Svilar: one of our best players this season, we have kept so many clean sheets. Easily worth the investment.
Pubill: Solid right-back, not much more to it.
Guehi: Our new captain has settled in well and is a capable partner/mentor for Comuzzo
Doak: A bit inconsistent, and got a red card in an important game, but 9 G/As is a pleasing return for the young Scot.
Diallo: future prospect, in the U20s.
Pafundi: I allowed him to stay at Udinese on loan and develop, but he’s been riding the bench.
Saelemakers: an encore performance following his successful loan last season. We are paying 50% of his 19k salary with no fees and it’s an absolute bargain.
Squad:
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Now that’s a well-balanced squad, although a tiny bit bloated. We are able to rotate for the midweek trips to far-flung European destinations which is a big help.
Preparing for January:
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On the way out:
Maguire: Was useful last season but is currently earning 105k a week to sit on the bench, since Guehi, Ranieri, and Comuzzo have the position locked down.
Matic: His 35k/week wages would be better off somewhere else, since he gets very little game time.
Bianco: home-grown but not good enough to displace the other midfielders, and complaining about it. 18k off the wage bill.
Beltran: gets little game time and does little with what he gets. If I can get 20m for him I’ll be very pleased. 44k wages.
Darmian: useful squad player and model professional, but 55k/week is too much for a 36 year old who barely plays.